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Menopause, Darling, Explained: From Hormones to Hot Flashes (With Sass + Science)

  • Writer: Chris Beckett
    Chris Beckett
  • 5 days ago
  • 7 min read

The Silent Build-Up: Why Perimenopause Blindsides So Many of Us



Woman in a beige sweater holds her head, looking concerned. Neutral background, expression suggests stress or worry.

If menopause is the headline, perimenopause is the long, chaotic warm-up act nobody bought tickets for. And it’s here that most women find themselves googling symptoms in desperation.


Perimenopause can begin in your early 40s — sometimes your late 30s — and can last up to a decade. This is when hormones fluctuate wildly, rather than simply “declining.” One month, your oestrogen is through the roof (cue heavy periods, breast tenderness, irritability). The next, it plummets (hello hot flushes, low mood, and bone-deep fatigue).



Early perimenopause:


  • Periods start to change — maybe shorter, maybe heavier, maybe skipping altogether.

  • PMS goes next-level: worse cramps, unpredictable moods.

  • First whispers of hot flushes or sleep issues.


Late perimenopause:

  • Periods become truly erratic — you may go months without one, then get the mother of all bleeds.

  • Hot flushes and night sweats ramp up.

  • Vaginal dryness, low libido, and anxiety may appear.

  • Brain fog worsens (you can’t remember the word for “kettle,” but you know it boils water).

👉 And then, after 12 consecutive months without a period: Menopause.


The Symptoms Nobody Warned You About


Forget the neat little NHS leaflet with its “hot flushes and mood swings” bullet points. There are at least 34 recognised symptoms — and counting.


Physical:


  • Hot flushes & night sweats

  • Irregular or heavy bleeding

  • Vaginal dryness & painful sex

  • Weight gain (especially around the middle)

  • Joint aches & stiffness

  • Headaches & migraines

  • Hair thinning or loss

  • Dry or itchy skin

  • Palpitations

  • Digestive issues (bloating, IBS flares)


Mental & Emotional:


  • Anxiety (sometimes for the first time in your life)

  • Low mood or full depressive episodes

  • Irritability or rage

  • Panic attacks

  • Brain fog & memory lapses

  • Loss of confidence, motivation, or identity


Sexual & Intimate:


  • Vaginal dryness

  • Painful sex

  • Drop in libido (or, conversely, a surprise surge for some women)


“Weird but real” symptoms:


  • Burning tongue or metallic taste

  • Tingling hands/feet

  • Tinnitus

  • Changes in body odour

  • Restless legs


Every woman’s mix is unique. Which is why some sail through it — while others feel like they’ve been dropped in hormonal hell with no map.


The Mental Health Crash: It’s Not Just ‘All in Your Head’


Here’s the raw truth: perimenopause is one of the riskiest times for women’s mental health.

  • Depression: Women are more vulnerable to depressive episodes during this hormonal transition, even without a prior history.

  • Anxiety: The sudden, irrational dread before a meeting? That can be biochemical, not a character flaw.

  • Brain fog: Losing words, forgetting why you walked into a room — this isn’t early dementia, it’s hormones disrupting neurotransmitters.

  • Loss of confidence: Many women say they don’t “recognise themselves” anymore. That sense of identity wobble is profoundly destabilising.

👉 NICE guidance (2024) specifically names low mood, anxiety, sleep disturbance, and memory changes as key menopause impacts, recommending a mix of lifestyle strategies, CBT, and — where appropriate — HRT to manage them (NICE CKS).


Why Hormones Wreak Such Havoc (In Plain English)


Oestrogen and progesterone aren’t just “period hormones.” They’re multitaskers.

  • Oestrogen affects the brain (mood, memory, sleep), bones, skin, heart, and even how your body handles insulin.

  • Progesterone is calming — it helps regulate sleep and reduces anxiety. When these fluctuate, your whole system feels like it’s glitching.

No wonder it feels like an identity shake-up, not just a reproductive one.


Eat, Drink, Supplement: Your Sidekicks in This Hormonal Hustle



A woman in a beige sweater drinks a green smoothie, sitting at a table with a salad of spinach, tomatoes, peppers, and quinoa. Neutral mood. menopause diet

1. Diet Done Right

  • Eat the rainbow. A King’s College London study found women who ate 30 different plant foods a week reduced symptoms like hot flushes, depression, and low libido by up to a third (The Times).

  • Wholegrains + fibre. Boosting these and reducing fats can modestly cut hot flushes, especially if weight loss follows (BDA).

  • Limit the triggers. NICE-backed advice highlights caffeine, alcohol, and spicy food as flush/insomnia culprits (Nutrition.org.uk).

  • Soy saves the day. A 12-week trial showed a low-fat vegan diet with soy cut severe hot flushes by 92% (Woman & Home).


“Adjustments to diet can have a positive impact on symptoms,” says Dr Haitham Hamoda, Chair of the British Menopause Society — but only as part of a holistic approach (The Times).

2. Magnesium: The Calm in the Storm


Magnesium is emerging as a peri powerhouse:


  • Hot flush relief. Pilot studies using magnesium oxide (up to 1,200 mg/day) found more than 50% reduction in flushes within 4 weeks (PubMed).

  • Better sleep, calmer mind. It supports GABA (a calming brain chemical), eases muscle tension, and regulates cortisol (JoinMidi).

  • Best forms:

    • Magnesium glycinate — well absorbed, brilliant for sleep.

    • Magnesium oxide — works for flushes, but less absorbed and can cause digestive upset.

Side effects? Mild at most. And magnesium remains one of the safest, cheapest tools for managing symptoms (PMC).

3. NICE’s Word on Lifestyle & What to Expect from Your GP


According to the latest NICE Clinical Knowledge Summary (CKS) for managing menopause and perimenopause, a healthy lifestyle can significantly ease symptoms—especially hot flushes, mood changes, sleep issues, and memory blips. This includes:


  • Balanced diet

  • Regular exercise

  • Good sleep hygiene

  • Avoiding symptom triggers such as spicy foods, caffeine, and alcohol The Times+7CKS+7CKS+7


Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Not Just for the Mind

The 2024 update clarifies that menopause-specific CBT can positively affect not only mental health symptoms but also hot flushes and sleep disturbance. It’s encouraged in addition to HRT—or as an alternative for those who can’t or choose not to have hormone therapy NICE+1.



Two women at a table in a bright room, one in a lab coat with a stethoscope, the other in a beige sweater, appear to be having a focused conversation. discussing menopause symptoms

What to Say to Your GP & What to Expect

If you’re seeing symptoms like mood dips, brain fog, sleep disruption, or hot flushes, it’s time to start your journey by contacting your GP.


Here’s what you can expect based on NICE guidance and trusted sources:


  • Discussion of your symptoms and stage of menopause—including your history of menstrual cycles and any lifestyle factors University of Glasgow+2The Times+2Patient+3The Menopause Charity+3NICE+3.


  • The GP may diagnose menopause clinically, especially if you're over 45, without needing blood tests—though they may run tests to rule out other causes like thyroid issues or low iron The Menopause CharityCKS.


  • A discussion about management options, including:

    • Non-hormonal strategies like lifestyle tweaks, CBT, or self-help tools

    • Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)—its benefits and risks—tailored to your individual health profile chelwest.nhs.uk+13NICE+13NICE+13.


  • NICE recommends a follow-up review around three months after starting any treatment—or sooner if you're experiencing side effects or symptoms haven’t improved The Menopause Charity.

Bottom line: If you have symptoms, begin your journey by contacting your GP. A good appointment will involve listening, exploration, and a tailored plan—because your experience matters, and support is out there.

What You Can Do (Without Losing Your Sanity)


This isn’t about “fixing” you — you’re not broken. But knowledge is power.

  • Track your symptoms: Patterns help you (and your GP) take action sooner.

  • Sleep like it matters: Cooling bedding, magnesium, and screen curfews can help.

  • Talk treatments: From HRT to lifestyle changes, you have options — but you need to push for them.

  • Support your skin & body: Hydration, collagen-friendly skincare, and regular movement matter.

  • Prioritise your mental health: Therapy, journalling, medication if needed — all valid, all powerful.


No1 Urban Recommends: The Start Here Kit

Your no-BS menopause lifeline:


✨ Cooling mist for the “boardroom hot flush”



  • Price: Currently £20.80 (laible to change on amazon, RRP £26.00)

  • Rating: 4.6 ★ (over 800 reviews)

  • Why it works: Not just a cooling mist, but a hydration booster with vitamins, antioxidants, and botanicals. It soothes heat surges and doubles as a complexion refresher or makeup set — perfect for those “boardroom hot flush” moments.

“Leaves skin instantly refreshed and glowing — I carry this everywhere.” – Verified Amazon Reviewer

✨ Glow serum for skin that suddenly feels alien



  • Price: currently on AMAZON for £22.79 (price subject to change)

  • Rating: ★★★★☆ 4.4 (418 reviews)

  • Why it works: This serum goes beyond basic hydration. With 12 peptides, niacinamide, and PDRN (salmon DNA extract), it helps restore skin elasticity, even tone, and rebuild resilience. Exactly what midlife skin craves when oestrogen decline makes it thinner, drier, and more reactive.

“My skin felt plumper and calmer within days — a true menopause skin saviour.” – Amazon Reviewer

✨ Supplement blend (yes, with magnesium) to steady your inner chaos


(60 Vegan Capsules)


  • Price: currently on AMAZON for £15.29 (price subject to change)

  • Rating: ★★★★☆ 4.3 (1,000+ reviews)

  • Why it works: A multi-target formula designed specifically for perimenopause and menopause. Combines phytoestrogens (soya isoflavones) with adaptogens like Ashwagandha and Red Maca, plus key vitamins/minerals for mood, energy, and hormone balance.

  • Covers hot flushes, mood swings, low energy, and libido dips — basically a one-stop support blend when your hormones are throwing a strop.

“This supplement has been life-changing — hot flushes reduced, better sleep, and my energy is back.” – Amazon Reviewer

Final Word: You’re Not Crazy. You’re Changing.


Three women walking together at night, smiling. One wears a red dress, another a black dress, and the third a leather jacket. Warm streetlights glow coping and thriving with peri-menopause

Menopause isn’t a glitch. It’s a transition that deserves more honesty and more support. The symptoms are real, the mental health impact is valid, and the solutions are out there.

Urban Babe, you are not broken — you are rewiring. And the second you stop whispering about it, you take the power back.


💬 Your Turn: What’s the wildest myth you’ve ever heard about menopause? Drop it below — let’s fact-check and laugh together.


📚 References & Further Reading



💡 Disclosure: Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links. This means that at no extra cost to you, we may earn a small commission if you choose to make a purchase. We only recommend products and services we truly believe support women through perimenopause and menopause.

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